Modular cottages for caregiver’s backyard

I know people always ask me if I will move to my mom’s house if she ever needs constant care. My house is only 1100 sq feet and I have 5 dogs so having my elderly mom in the house would be a hazard. There may be a solution for those who have the funds. According to the Roanoke Times, a pastor came up with the idea of a modular backyard care home and a prototype is about ready. These cottages could be purchased or rented. These cottages will be produced by N2Care in Salem. The MedCottage is 12 by 24 feet and will eventually be outfitted specific to the needs of the person residing in the cottage. Check it out. This is an incredible idea and it could truly minimize caregiver stress.

Great site for caregivers of the elderly-Ask Medicare

As the person who has been checking on my mother since my father died in January, I have noticed that my mom’s memory is off and on. She is remembering the important stuff but I know it is just a matter of time. She uses a walker and is not very mobile. I am lucky that my father had one of the walk in bathtubs put in prior to his death. She has 2 walkers and about 5 years ago we bought her a electric scooter. But I know she will never leave her home and she will become less mobile and less mobile. She is extremely heavy for her size due to her eating habits and lymphedema. I had no idea that there was a resource called “Ask Medicare” to help me navigate the system and learn what is available to my mother until I read the CNN health.com website article of August 3. As caregivers, we need to utilize all of the resources available to us for three primary reasons. First, it takes stress and pressure off of us so that we keep our sanity and do not run ourselves into the ground. Second, these resources can save us and those we care for money. Last, but not least, we can spend more time trying to maintain a “quality of life” that keeps them as independent as possible and keep their dignity.

Caregiving nightmare

I was just up visiting my cousin who has Stage 4 bone and breast cancer. She was diagnosed a month after her husband had major spinal chord surgery. His prognosis was a year at least on disability. They have 2 kids ages 7 and 11. The situation has gone from bad to worse. She has had a double masectomy, a full histerectomy, and over 30 radiation treatments since late December. She has to work 20 hours a week to keep her job. Her husband has gained lots of weight and has no desire to get off of disability and go to work. Both of his parents have passed away in the last 6 months. He is supposed to be caring for the kids and helping his wife. But he is feeling sorry for himself and so the son gets him and his sister off to school. While I was there, the boy broke his collar bone and so he could not get up with his sister for a few days. So because the dad does not get up to help, my cousin had to get the daughter off to school. Yet, that week she was told that the bone cancer may have metastasized and she is in a lot of pain. Hence, you have someone who could die, trying to work, care for her kids, and manuever around a husband who does need help (more psychological than physical). The kids try and navigate their lives around the mines that have been put in their way of having a “normal” childhood. They have lost both sets of grandparents in the last 2 years and may lose their mother before her time. The kids are the caregivers of each other, sometimes of their parents fights, and they need a lot of tender loving care. The father in his own way has tried to care for the children, his dying mother, and in a selfish way his wife. My cousin needs the support of her immediate family in a way they do not understand because of her spirit that pushes her to work and not seem as though she has “cancer.” She is tired. She knows that her husband does not understand the needs of the family but appreciates that he thinks he is “getting it right.” But, the kids are suffering because of the inability for the adult world to think beyond their needs and see that all of this is getting to the them. How many children are out there that are getting care but no one understands what they need?

The SMART home for those with dementia

A Brittish group, Bath Institute of Medical Engineering, is developing a smart home that provides technology to help those suffering with dementia have more control and safety in their own homes. What a wonderful idea. This will help caregivers feel more secure in allowing their loved ones to be a bit more independent with some dignity. As you can see from this link, this SMART house makes it so there is very little outside help for those dementia sufferers who are candidates for such a program. As a caregiver of a person who seems to be forgetting more and more frequently, I am hopeful about such projects. I hate making my mother feel as though I don’t think she knows what she is doing.

Swapping roles with your parents

I recently had a discussion with a baby boomer (mid 50’s), like me, who was taking care of her mother who was visiting from a different state. Her mother lives in an assisted living community where she has her own place but people help her with mobile, medical, and personal hygiene issues. After a week of caring for her mother and working , she took some strong medication because she needed a break. She left her mom and went over to a neighbor’s house to take a nap. Her mother was angry and she wanted to leave and fly back home. The friend did not understand why her mother did not understand the burden that was being placed on her. This friend has never had kids. I explained that we are now taking over the parenting role and we must remember how we felt when we were treated as something to just care for as kids. It is difficult to swap roles with our parents in a way that maintains their dignity, yet, keeps them safe and as independent as possible. I would think if you have never been a parent then it would be more difficult. Also, like many of us, she may not have had the best of relationships with her parents at times. But they are our parents, they cared for us the best they could (in most instances). We must do the same for them.

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