November is National Family Caregivers Month

On October 30, 2009, President Obama proclaimed November to be National Family Caregivers Month. In his proclamation, President Obama highlighted two programs that should help family caregivers in their quest to balance their personal and professional lives with their care of family or friends; The National Family Caregiver Support Program and the Lifespan Respite Care Act. The National Family Caregivers Month was started by the National Family Caregivers Association to thank, support, and educate family caregivers. I believe that one of goals of all organizations trying to support and educate family caregivers is to help those who see themselves as the niece caring for her aunt with breast cancer or the son caring for his elderly parents identify themselves as caregivers. I believe this is critical because until people identify themselves as family caregivers instead of family members helping those they love most of the legislation and organizational support available will not be requested or sought out.

Great program to help caregivers feed elderly parents

I know that it is hard to determine what my mom is eating. I am a long distance caregiver. I ask every day what she eats. Many times she cannot remember. When I am there for a few days, she seems to eat all the right things. However, I don’t cook like I should because of my limited time with her. Hence, we go out and she is not getting the complete nutrition she needs. She now is pre-osteoporosis so she needs more calcium. I have suggested meals on wheels to her but she has had friends say that the food is inconsistent. A program in Albany has been created to help with the stress caregivers feel trying to feed their elderly relatives and friends. The program called “Cooking under pressure.” This program provides a handbook with shopping tips, recipes, and actual help plan and shop for meals. You can checkout this website for more resources. All of us that have cared for family with cancer or other illnesses, as well as our elderly parents, know that trying to find food that is good for them and that they will eat is one of the most difficult aspects of caregiving. I know that when I was caring for my aunt with breast cancer, I went up and down the aisle looking for things I had not thought of before. Hopefully, there are programs such as this in your area.

Caregiving nightmare

I was just up visiting my cousin who has Stage 4 bone and breast cancer. She was diagnosed a month after her husband had major spinal chord surgery. His prognosis was a year at least on disability. They have 2 kids ages 7 and 11. The situation has gone from bad to worse. She has had a double masectomy, a full histerectomy, and over 30 radiation treatments since late December. She has to work 20 hours a week to keep her job. Her husband has gained lots of weight and has no desire to get off of disability and go to work. Both of his parents have passed away in the last 6 months. He is supposed to be caring for the kids and helping his wife. But he is feeling sorry for himself and so the son gets him and his sister off to school. While I was there, the boy broke his collar bone and so he could not get up with his sister for a few days. So because the dad does not get up to help, my cousin had to get the daughter off to school. Yet, that week she was told that the bone cancer may have metastasized and she is in a lot of pain. Hence, you have someone who could die, trying to work, care for her kids, and manuever around a husband who does need help (more psychological than physical). The kids try and navigate their lives around the mines that have been put in their way of having a “normal” childhood. They have lost both sets of grandparents in the last 2 years and may lose their mother before her time. The kids are the caregivers of each other, sometimes of their parents fights, and they need a lot of tender loving care. The father in his own way has tried to care for the children, his dying mother, and in a selfish way his wife. My cousin needs the support of her immediate family in a way they do not understand because of her spirit that pushes her to work and not seem as though she has “cancer.” She is tired. She knows that her husband does not understand the needs of the family but appreciates that he thinks he is “getting it right.” But, the kids are suffering because of the inability for the adult world to think beyond their needs and see that all of this is getting to the them. How many children are out there that are getting care but no one understands what they need?

Arizona Fundraiser to support financial needs of cancer caregivers

How cool is this. The Michael T Flynn Foundation is putting on a fundraiser to help those cancer caregivers who qualify with financial support. The Get in the Game Fundraiser will be held in Scottsdale, AZ on April 24. Check it out. For all of you caregivers that know that the financial toll is not always recognized should send a shout out to Diane Flynn for her empathy and support to those who have had to go through cancer with someone they love. As someone who cared for my aunt who lost her battle with breast cancer, I know that I spent quite a bit on my aunt’s need because I never wanted her to worry about something as trivial as money. So I probably put out $1000 or more just on her in the 8 months, not including my costs for gas, kennel, etc. I would do it again without any regrets. But there are many people that cannot absorb all that money. Hip Hip Hooray to Diane Flynn and the Michael T Flynn Foundation.

For Baby Boomers caregiving can be a never ending joy or challenge

If you are in your mid 50’s, if your parents are still living they might be anywhere from 70-80+. This means that your parents are coming upon the time when you either need to start preparing yourself and your parents for the time when they will need help and then eventually hard decisions are to be made or you are already in that position. Not only are all of your relatives getting older, but many are becoming ill or not as mobile and you are finding yourself helping out whenever you can. Then if you have children, they could be from their 20’s to their 40’s. They may have lost a job, they may become ill, or you may be helping with their children. As you look around, you wonder “why me?” of “I am so glad I am able to help” or “How can I keep this up mentally, financially?” or “Things happen for a reason.” You look down the road and you see more and more caregiving opportunities. It makes you feel good that you can help. But, you must always remember that you must stay healthy or those around you will have to begin the cycle. Take care of yourself and try and help those around you make good health choices so that the caregiving cycle starts later than sooner.

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