EEOC Issues Employer Best Practices to Minimize Discrimination against Caregivers

According to the Kansas City info Zine, the document provides recommendations for employer policies in an attempt to remove barriers to equal employment opportunity for workers with caregiving responsibilities. Some of the key situations covered in the Best Practices Document include personal or sick leave policies that allow employees to use leave to care for ill family members and equal-opportunity policies that address unlawful discrimination against caregivers. The entire document can be found on the EEOC website. This is a small step in starting to get administrators within the government to realize the enormity of the contributions to society and sacrifices that family caregivers make in our country, as well as, most countries in the world.

For Baby Boomers caregiving can be a never ending joy or challenge

If you are in your mid 50’s, if your parents are still living they might be anywhere from 70-80+. This means that your parents are coming upon the time when you either need to start preparing yourself and your parents for the time when they will need help and then eventually hard decisions are to be made or you are already in that position. Not only are all of your relatives getting older, but many are becoming ill or not as mobile and you are finding yourself helping out whenever you can. Then if you have children, they could be from their 20’s to their 40’s. They may have lost a job, they may become ill, or you may be helping with their children. As you look around, you wonder “why me?” of “I am so glad I am able to help” or “How can I keep this up mentally, financially?” or “Things happen for a reason.” You look down the road and you see more and more caregiving opportunities. It makes you feel good that you can help. But, you must always remember that you must stay healthy or those around you will have to begin the cycle. Take care of yourself and try and help those around you make good health choices so that the caregiving cycle starts later than sooner.

Reliving last year and missing my aunt

You can read all you want about caregiver stress. You can intellectually understand that you have had an episode of depression, gained weight, have increased fatigue, and your body was so depleted you had to have rotator cuff surgery. So what else could impact you from being a primary 24 hour caregiver? With the holidays coming, every night as I try to fall asleep, I think about where I was and what was happening with my aunt. This was close to the week where she had a breakdown and she and I decided it was time for 24 hour care other than us. She had 1 month or so of taking care of herself except for some medical care needed. Then our euphoria led us to let her go to long. She was rushed to emergency on my trip up to WA. She had delusions about what was happening in the hospital. She seemed defeated. It took all of my energy and love for her to bring up the 24 hour care. Her daughter did not agree. Thankfully, the doctor would not let her go without knowing she had trained care. I made sure that my cousin setup for one of those buttons and for 24 hour care. I left for Thanksgiving so the family could salvage whatever there was left of family time. Next week, would be the week I went up and did not leave until it was time to get pictures for the service. I feel haunted by those last months right now. I miss her. I can only imagine what it would be like to be a caregiver for longer than 8 months. I would recommend that anyone who has been a caregiver for any length of time for someone who died to get psychological help. I recommend that anyone who has been a caregiver get support because just the act of caregiving can compromise one’s health. Anyone else out there have similar experiences with thinking back to what you were doing this time while caregiving?

Discussion with neighbor caring for elderly father

Two days ago the paramedics came and took my neighbor’s father to the hospital. I don’t know exactly how long he has been caring for him in his home. But I know it has been at least for 4 years. I know he has a professional caregiver, Mary, come 5 days a week. She stops and talks to me on her way to the bus stop while I am doing my gardening. I know he put a new air conditioner in his home just for his father last summer because he has breathing problems. He works a blue collar job so I suspect that it is not only a physical and emotional drain on him, but also a financial one. I went over to ask about his father. He went on to tell me that he probably had a stroke and now has an enlarged prostrate. When I asked when he would come home, he said they did not know if he was going to go to rehab or …his voice trailed off. I said it is a difficult decision isn’t it? Then I told him why I had not been home all summer. I explained that I was recuperating from my brief stint as a primary caregiver. We talked about the lack of sleep. His father sleeps in the same room with him so that he knows how he is doing and that he won’t get up in the night. I thought sleeping with a baby monitor was bad. But with a family member who has trouble breathing and probably keeps you awake all night. Mike seemed comforted that I understood. He was getting emotional. Then he said, “My parents always said they never wanted to go to one of those places.” All I could say was ” I don’t think anyone does.”  I told him I knew how much it takes out of one. His response, “So much in all aspects.” Again he was getting emotional and other neighbors were out around us. I told him that at this point he had to do what was best for him now. My heart went out to him. You could tell he did not talk to people about how hard it was on him. He did not tell people that it was getting to him. We had made a connection that only people in the Caregiverunderground can. I left telling him that he could always come over and talk to me anytime he wanted. I believe that we have bonded, not as neighbors, but as family caregivers. We need to reach out to each other.