Respite care to help recharge the caregiver

How important is repite care to the health of the caregiver? The article in the Republican on June 24 provides real life examples of how respite care helps everyday people who are the primary caregivers of their elderly parents. An abstract from a pilot study conducted at the University of Florida on the effect of respite care on the stress levels of the caregivers suggests that a caregiver’s stress level will be minimized through respite care. Both of the previous materials are directly related to respite care for people caring for the elderly. However, every primary caregiver needs to take advantage of respite care services available in their region. A good resource for everyone on respite care is the ARCH National Respite Network. This website details the life of the Lifespan Respite Bill passed in 2006 and how it is completely underfunded. We all need to get in touch with our legislators and make sure that they fund the bill.

Men taking on more as caregivers for elderly parents

The NY Times does an excellent story on a study by the Alzheimer’s Association and the National Alliance for Caregivers showing that men make up about 40% of the family caregivers. This percentage is up from 1996. I know that men can make GREAT caregivers because my ex-husband and best friend has been caring for his 97 year old mother for over a year and prior to that he helped his mom care for his father who had Alzheimer’s. However, I believe that he is an exception to the rule. I have seen so many brothers, husbands, and other male family members pass such duties off to the females in the family.

The sad part of the article is that male, like female, female caregivers can get very ill from caregiving. They must take on both the emotional, the physical, and the financial burdens as do the female caregivers. I wonder if men may get even more ill because in their upbringing they are not socialized to be caregivers. Of course empathy and caring are not female characteristics, but in general we reward females for exhibiting such behaviors and make sure males know that it is not acceptable. Luckily both of my sons are like their dad, compassionate, caring, empathetic, and proud of those traits.

Reliving last year and missing my aunt

You can read all you want about caregiver stress. You can intellectually understand that you have had an episode of depression, gained weight, have increased fatigue, and your body was so depleted you had to have rotator cuff surgery. So what else could impact you from being a primary 24 hour caregiver? With the holidays coming, every night as I try to fall asleep, I think about where I was and what was happening with my aunt. This was close to the week where she had a breakdown and she and I decided it was time for 24 hour care other than us. She had 1 month or so of taking care of herself except for some medical care needed. Then our euphoria led us to let her go to long. She was rushed to emergency on my trip up to WA. She had delusions about what was happening in the hospital. She seemed defeated. It took all of my energy and love for her to bring up the 24 hour care. Her daughter did not agree. Thankfully, the doctor would not let her go without knowing she had trained care. I made sure that my cousin setup for one of those buttons and for 24 hour care. I left for Thanksgiving so the family could salvage whatever there was left of family time. Next week, would be the week I went up and did not leave until it was time to get pictures for the service. I feel haunted by those last months right now. I miss her. I can only imagine what it would be like to be a caregiver for longer than 8 months. I would recommend that anyone who has been a caregiver for any length of time for someone who died to get psychological help. I recommend that anyone who has been a caregiver get support because just the act of caregiving can compromise one’s health. Anyone else out there have similar experiences with thinking back to what you were doing this time while caregiving?

Low levels of physical exertion helps older caregivers from health problems associated with caregiving

A recent study reported by MedPage Today suggests that physical exertion will help in the mortality rate of older caregivers between ages 70-79. The study also found that white males were the least likely to be caregivers. I find this to be fairly predictable based on anecdotal evidence from observations of situations with friends, family, and other people. Males have a tendency to fall back into the shadows and not participate. The women step up and take on all the problems assuming that the men will never step up enabling the men to not help unless there appears to be some benefit. Have any of you ever experienced this phenomenon?

Caregiver again?

I was just recovering from the fatigue and depression that I felt after caring for my aunt as she lost her battle with breast cancer. And now, my cousin (my aunt’s daughter) was just diagnosed with breast cancer (one week after her mother in law was diagnosed with lung cancer and 6 weeks after her husband had major spinal chord surgery). She has 2 children, works, and has been taking care of her husband and his mother. From May 2007 to Dec 2007, she helped care for her mother. Now life has dealt her a big blow. I have volunteered to take her children for 2 weeks while she has more tests before a double mastectomy. This time I have to make sure I take care of myself because soon I will have to take care of my elderly parents. More importantly, I must be mentally and physically healthy enough to be there for my cousin and her family. Hence, I will drive the 14 hours to pick them up when I do not have to cancel any of my previously scheduled appointments. I learned from the first time that if you don’t take care of yourself while you are caregiving, you may end up needing care yourself.

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